Recently, I discovered a little-known aspect of male psychology, which greatly impacts a man’s perception of his romantic partners. I would listen to my intuition instead. There are all kinds of reasons unhappy long-term couples stick it out; but if you think you might be in one of them, it's worth remembering that staying in a miserable relationship is never worth it, no matter your reasoning may be. Watch your emotions and look for triggers. Who are the first people you call to hang out? 7. Threatening to break up signifies that you're not content enough to stay and fight for your relationship, and deep down inside, you want to bail. All rights reserved. The easiest way to know if you’re settling in a relationship is by asking yourself if you’re unhappy in your relationship. Who are you dying to see? ​Find a hobby or a class that you enjoy doing together. If you've noticed your partner is not working to fix the problem, even after you've tried to talk out your feelings with them, then it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship. Another reason could be that things aren’t great between you two. Remember that self-love is important for enjoying a happy, healthy, and respectful relationship. Aside from talking to your boyfriend and working from within the relationship, you can do some work on your own. Love can be amazing, or it can make you want to hide under the covers. It can be helpful to find hobbies that you enjoy doing on your own. In reality, your partner should make you happy, not make you whole. One of the major situations that causes these feelings is long-term relationships. But at the end of the day, all that matters is whether both of you are compatible with each other. Of course, if your relationship is deteriorating, you can’t depend on only yourself for happiness. Pay attention to see how your relationship issues are affecting your everyday life. "A drop in physical touch is also a sign that the relationship could be on the rocks," Blush life coach Kali Rogers told Bustle. It’s not bright and shiny. Keep in mind that it is very important for you and your boyfriend to be a team in fixing any issues that you have. If […] Take some … The sad fact is that there are a lot of couples out there who stay together even though they're unhappy. Don't resist success, a promotion or making more money than your partner to boost his or her ego or spare his or her feelings. Dating Advice: How Not to Lose Yourself in a Relationship. He expects that the girl should talk all the time and always be clingy and needy. Firstly you should see why you are not happy. It’s not all morning sex and forehead kisses. It will regularly make you feel down about yourself and your relationship. You're allowed to need some space for yourself. There are several reasons that you might be feeling unhappy regardless of how much you may love your boyfriend. Pick up a new hobby or jump back into one you enjoyed a while back. These differences can give you some insight on what will improve your relationship’s success and happiness. If yes then you have every right to walk out of an abusive relationship. Of course, if you feel that way you should be honest. Not having the same goals isn’t necessarily a sign of a bad relationship, but it is an indication that you’re not headed in the same direction. You might need to get out of the relationship too. Required fields are marked *. I could not stop the thoughts. Here are 12 signs you're unhappy in your relationship. All couples sometimes hit a point in their relationship when they're so busy that they don't spend that much time together. Your email address will not be published. If that's the case, your best bet is to think deeply and figure out why it is that you're always feigning an exit. Signsthatyoumaynotbehappyinyourrelationshipinclude: 1. For example, maybe your SO's lack of ambition is starting to wear on your home life, but you can't bring yourself to talk about it with them. In other words, we’re generally—not always, but more often than not—excited to see and be with our partner. If so, read on. It may not be related to your relationship. When you are in a relationship for a long time, there will be times when you or your partner will not be happy but that does not mean you do have a happy relationship. Someone who often acts destructively in an attempt to seek revenge or inflict emotional pain on their partner — rather than have a mature conversation about the spat — probably doesn't have very much respect and love for the relationship. This is past the honeymoon phase or cupcake phase, so things are just “normal”. Husband Works Too Much: What Should I Do? In 2016 (a couple of years after my post-breakup enlightenment), Bella DePaulo , a social psychologist at the University of California at Santa Barbara, went through 814 studies of single and married people and found that being single has many benefits . You might think he will get angry. Are you upset that you’re always thinking, “I love my boyfriend, but I’m not happy”? With the right amount of effort, you can keep things going smoothly. Then, let him know that you haven’t been as happy lately. You do want to look out for your own happiness in general and make sure that you aren’t miserable. HerNorm is a community-supported website. However, there are also plenty of unhappy couples out there who aren't married or co-parenting. I am in control over how I treat myself. When you've been with someone for a long time, you often get so used to being together that you can't stomach the thought of ever breaking up, regardless of the quality of your relationship. Noticing physical beauty in another person is one thing; but constantly imagining what life would be like waking up next to that cute barista instead of your SO is an indication that your home life isn't so solid. If you feel unsafe in your relationship, seek help and get out as soon as possible. You might need to get out of the relationship too. He could be going through things with his family, friends, work, or school. 8. This is no one-night stand or random date. It may seem selfish, especially if your partner seems like the ideal partner everyone looks for. (25 Possible Things), He Said I Love You Too Soon (15 Easy Ways To Respond), Jealous Boyfriend (17+ Ways To Deal With A Jealous Man), How To Impress Your Crush (21+ Impressive Ways), 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You, Boyfriend Doesn’t Love Me Anymore (11 Things To Do Right Away), What To Do If Your Man Stops Calling You (5 Important Tips). 7. Youfeeldepressedwhenyou'reathome. I’m not going anywhere. If you’ve been with your boyfriend for a while, you likely feel committed. Plus, you may not know whether he still loves you or not. In one of his videos, life coach, bestselling author, and relationship expert Tony Robbins says the second you threaten to leave your SO is the first nail in your relationship's coffin. I could simply stop thinking. ​Talk about your feelings with each other. An easy way to self reflect is to use a self reflection journal. Make sure to include aspects of your relationship that made you happy. It becomes more concerning when the feelings linger for a long time and don’t seem to be improving. Watch this video to get some insight on how to make the decision: It’s important that you try to make your relationship work if you do truly love your boyfriend. Do you feel unhappy in your relationship even though you’re in love? You might want to share specific scenarios where you have felt less happy so that he understands better. What To Do When You Love Your Boyfriend But Aren't Happy, If you’re sick and tired of unfulfilling relationships, I’d strongly urge you to learn more about. But this shouldn't be something that's happening on the regular — and if it is, you're not as stoked about being in this coupledom as you might think you are. Normally, no other relationship will work out if you don't have a good relationship with yourself. You get down to the heart of yourself. 6. Love yourself first. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be together. It was the first time it hit me: a relationship does not (and should not) make you happier. It can start out as a fantastic whirlwind of mutual connection, but over time it turns into sacrificing yourself for the “good” of the relationship. Is your husband abusing you physically or mentally? And then, one day, I decided that I had a choice. So, work on yourself and become the best person you can be, and your relationship will add to your happiness. Youfeelputdownordisrespected. Comment below if you have any questions you would like us to answer! Your relationships, whether it’s your marriage or the bond you share with your best friend, can take a toll on how you feel on a daily basis. ​Talk to your boyfriend about your feelings. Youthinkyouwouldbehappierlivingadifferentlife. Above all else, I was relieved. My Husband or Boyfriend Takes Me for Granted. It will be a lot harder if you try to fix the issues on your own without giving your boyfriend a heads up at all. attached to your partner can sometimes cloud our judgment, elements of your relationship that need some honest attention, 60 percent of married couples in 2014 reported being happy, signs you're unhappy in your relationship, indication that your home life isn't so solid, Sex Yourself: The Woman’s Guide to Mastering Masturbation and Achieving Powerful Orgasms, fundamental about your love life that you aren't addressing. You can also take a look at what you’re doing differently now compared to what you were doing when you first started dating. This definitely depends on your relationship and where you stand with your boyfriend. Plus, then you will know that you aren’t completely alone. Indeed, it’s common for men to be drawn to women who can make them experience these powerful emotions. It's so painful to watch, in fact, that when we see people in this situation, we often can't help but talk about them under our breath. This might be playing an instrument or participating in a local organization. Ask yourself if this is merely a rut you're stuck in, or whether you're just not sexually attracted to your partner anymore. You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You. Say you unexpectedly got released early from work on a Friday. Youdon'tsharemuchanymore. Put the complaining aside and think seriously about whether you're content in this relationship. In that moment, I realized that the relationship was over. Without trust, a mature relationship — or a happy relationship — can't exist. However, before we dive into this advice, it’s very important for you to read the next few sentences. 2. If you want to work with your boyfriend to make the relationship better again, there are plenty of ways to do that. The internet is home to countless articles, videos, and quotes about how to be happy in a relationship. If you feel comfortable doing so, you should talk to your boyfriend. You might be encountering more of the everyday tasks instead of fun dates and flirty text messages. If your boyfriend seems less interested in spending time with you or seems unhappy, he could feel the same way. Every time you pick up your partner's phone to snoop around their texts or social media messages to see what they're really up to, you may think you're just trying to stay close with them — but in reality, you're actually showing how much distance exists in your relationship. It can be tricky to tell whether he is unhappy or not. You'reonlyinitforthekids,house,pets,or[fillintheblank]. Immediately, I felt calmer and more myself. Youlookforexcusesnottoseethem/beathome. For some reason though, for him I am not comfortable because I cannot communicate the way “he thinks a girl should” . It means you need to align yourselves toward the same goals, or accept that you’re going in two totally different directions. Now turn that around on yourself: if you're always badgering your SO about the way they do the dishes or how they hang their washing, there's likely something more fundamental about your love life that you aren't addressing. Check out Bustle's 'Save The Date' and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV. You'redistractingyourselfwithboozeand/ordrugs. 11. This might include more dates or spending more time together after work. You have to be happy on your own before you can be truly happy in a relationship. We may earn a small commission on purchases made through our links. Try to just be honest with him. Maybe you feel that you are loved under certain conditions only, or you keep up a facade for your partner. We're told that falling in love looks something like an accident. I am not saying I am by any means a professional, but this article is honestly not informative nor helpful for the people you are seeking to reach. As a college student, I have spent time offering advice to friends as needed. Forgive her and forgive yourself for whatever happens in the relationship. This is possible, but it is definitely necessary to be open with your boyfriend. Or perhaps their increasing interest in catching up with old friends (and exes) on social media is making you feel unsteady, but you're too nervous to lay it all out on the table. You should be aware of how often you feel unhappy and in what ways it influences you. In short, you can’t have a functional, healthy lasting relationship unless you are able to maintain a strong sense of inner independence. If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. To be happy, you both need to make time for your separate friends, even if it's just a couple of days a month." Sure, there's always divorce, or separation, but there are a lot of reasons people don’t leave unhappy relationships, many of which are rooted in fear, explains couples counselor Ronica Arnold Branson, Ph.D. “Fear of being alone, fear of being rejected, and the fear of failure—these all apply to our relationships and why we continue to stay in them even though we aren’t happy.” Still, it can help to give you some peace of mind if you’re working on some things yourself. Need some help figuring out if you should reconsider your romantic situation? And self-worth inside a man ’ s common for men to be with him and become the best you! Every couple fights, so the fact that you haven ’ t depend on yourself! Indeed, it ’ s common for men to be committed, but may. 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